Title :: One step at a time will get you there
Setting :: Bleach
Spoilers :: Up to manga #193 or so, I believe.
Character :: Kurosaki Isshin
Words :: 610

When he first met her, it took him a while to realize that his life would change and thereafter never be the same again. A decision made in the surety of love, casting aside one way of life in favour of something new and wonderful, with no regrets ever attached to it. That's what it was like. When he lost her, it all changed again, a new path twisting sideways and dragging him through that he'd never thought would be presented to him. A road to walk without her by his side, not even the ghost of her to keep him company.

It hurt. It hurt in ways that still defy description. He remembers this feeling well, as though it might be yesterday.

Sometimes, he tells himself that it was stupid, not to expect that it might happen one day. He was a shinigami. It's the one thing he should have expected, anticipated and prepared for. It's the one thing he should have know would come, no matter what. Even the way she died was no surprise, once all is said and done.

Sometimes, he reminds himself that he couldn't have anticipated everything. And sometimes... sometimes, he thinks he should have known.

Then again, somehow time stopped when he was with Masaki and he never did take into account that she might die one day. So he holds no grief, no self-blame that she did, now. Not anymore. There's just no use in such a thing.

Look forward. Walk with your head held high. Have no fear.

For all that Masaki is no longer there, Isshin knows he does not walk this road alone. And she would be very cross with him if he let himself sink into despondency and leave things undone.

Because he knew, the first instant he felt his son awaken on borrowed powers, that the road had taken a sharp turn again. But for this, he was prepared. This fickle twist of Fate he'd anticipated since the day his son was born and he first looked upon Ichigo's red, furious face, howls resonating through the hospital indignantly in protest at the entire concept and process of birth was the most lovely sound he'd ever heard, next to Masaki's laughter. And then the girls came, one firmly pummelling the hand he waved over her face as if to warn him not to do anything stupid already and later, the other, smiling as sweetly as anything as he held her, all good cheer and love of life.

He listened to them all, in his own way, and prepared. Stayed in the background and waited. Ready to step in, at the right time, as he always meant to be.

Isshin is nothing if not a man of faith. He believes that his children, that Masaki's children, will do well for themselves. He always has.

He truly believes.

But... well, a little help along the way never hurt, has it?

As they look forward and face life, he can steadily keep falling back to stand just a bit behind them. With each silly act, with every ridiculous face, they move forward a bit more, pay less attention to him and what he is doing.

And so, Isshin can watch their backs as they move ahead.

Until the day they don't need him anymore.

Maybe then, he'll see about finding a way to join Masaki, somehow.

Just maybe.





...

Of course, if they have children, then all bets are off and he's sure Masaki won't mind waiting for him just a little bit longer. Someone has to stick around to tell all the really embarrassing stories to the grandkids, after all.

Current Mood: creative