Title :: Catch of the Day
Setting :: Transformers Movie/Bionic Woman
Characters :: Ironhide, Will Lennox, Jaime Sommers, cameo by Ratchet
Words :: 759
Note :: This is the "Why hasn't anyone done this yet?" idea that would just NOT let me go for the past month. Bah. First shot draft, un-beta'd.

She stares as the truck moves on its own, the flailing driver clearly not having anything to do with the steering or driving in any way shape or form. She is slightly unnerved by the whole situation, though she has to admit it's hardly the weirdest thing to have happened to her since the car accident. The thing's engine growls (she could swear it's annoyed) and it's even got smokestacks of all things (and what kind of super macho ego demanded that, she wonders distractedly).

She keeps pace with it nonetheless, grateful for neatly aligned rooftops, though the last leap results in a jarring landing leaving her briefly gasping for air before she's off once more, this time reaching the ground after a series of short leaps - balcony to garbage container (ugh) to alleyway, back over side wall and whoops, right on top of a black, suddenly breaking madly Topkick.

"What the slag? OFFA ME HUMAN!" She frowns as she steadies herself and idly stomps on boot heel down on the hood (which should dent, really it should only it isn't and that's rather offending, all things told.)

"Ironhide!" The soldier inside the truck slaps the wheel repeatedly as the engine of the truck revs to dangerous levels and his voice takes on a distinctly helpless exasperation, even though the man looks for all the world like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "THIS IS NOT BEING DISCREET!"

"No joke, Sherlock," Jaime Sommers snaps out, both feet planted on the hood of the (annoyed?) truck, left hand very securely anchored to the Topkick's whirring blue light. "You nearly ran over my car! MY NEW CAR!"

"Ow! Slaggit! That little thing was a CAR? HEY! Stop that! That hur- OW!"

It really is the truck swearing up a blue streak, she realizes, and Jaime pauses after a third firm punitive stop – her grip on the blue flashing roof light tightens and the resulting yelp makes her feel for all the world like she's got some brawny, muscle-headed refrigerator of a soldier by the ear.

It's an amusing thought.

Then exactly what transpired in the last few minutes catches up to her.

"...you're a talking truck..." She waves vaguely at the hood underneath her feet, before glancing towards what first caught her attention about the vehicle once she was done with 'oh my god big and black and MY CAR YOU BASTARD'. "With smoke stacks. ...who the hell goes for smoke stacks these days, c'mon?!"

The soldier peering up at her from inside the trucks grins widely and lets out a deep belly laugh, white teeth standing out sharply in a tanned face.

"She's got you there, Ironhide."

"YOU INSIDE! SHADDUP! AND YOU! OFF MY HOOD!"

"...talking... truck..." The words are repeated contemplatively. Jamie's grip relaxes and she starts to tilt to the side. Will Lennox is hard press to fling himself outside the suddenly scrambling Autobot as Ironhide twists painfully in order to catch the woman as she falls over in a dead faint.

"That looks painful," he remarks helpfully from the ground once the dust settles, a half-transformed Ironhide cursing up a storm that defies any language barrier. Once he has her firmly settled in one hand, he completes the process, standing up with a series of creaks that draw a sympathetic look from his human companion. Frowning, the mech stares down at the woman.

"...huh. She was jumping from roof to roof, wasn't she?"

Lennox blinks in realization and stares at the unconscious human cradled carefully by Ironhide.

"Huh. ...she was."

Both of them stare at the woman, entirely nonplussed, until Ratchet – who had been chasing Ironhide for a while now in order to get that medical done finishes creeping up on them, scanners on high and mayhem firmly on his mind.

The only thing that saves both Ironhide and Lennox from utter doom is the fact that Ratchet's scanning of Ironhide also includes the bionic woman in his hand, and the resulting data is enough to get the medic's processors entirely off scheduled physicals and onto something entirely shiny and new instead. Which means Ironhide is actually off the hook (for a while) much to his satisfaction, while Lennox – being far more knowledgeable (than Ironhide anyway) about the female of his species – tries to figure out exactly how far away he needs to get to survive the inevitable fallout.

Much later and to the amusement of all onlookers, Jaime Sommers makes both cybertronian weapons specialist and human soldier pay, dearly so.

Current Mood: amused